


I Don't Want To Watch The World End With Someone Else

by eridol



Category: Naruto
Genre: Exes to Lovers, M/M, Reconciliation, Songfic, clinton kane, compromise series, post-pain-arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25452403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eridol/pseuds/eridol
Summary: "I'm glad I found you, that I got to see you, even if we didn't really get to talk. I wasn't planning on dying, but it was a lot more peaceful when I did since I got to see your face beforehand. I still have my regrets, though.""...I didn't die, but when he had me, I was scared I wouldn't get to see you again- scared I'd die alone. I don't hate the thought of dying alone," Iruka sighed as he roasted a marshmallow on a stick and put the glob of sugar with a square of chocolate between two graham crackers. It seemed weird to be enjoying sweet treats during such a serious conversation, but Kakashi knew that the younger man had the tendency to munch on whatever was around when he was stressed. "But I think the issue was more with the thought of dying without you. I always tried to avoid thinking about death before, but I didn't want to die without you there. I know that's weird, but I-""Me too," Kakashi allowed his eyes to fall shut. He was breathless. Iruka still wanted him there. Even if they'd broken up, they'd never quite fallen apart after all.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Umino Iruka, Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	I Don't Want To Watch The World End With Someone Else

Weeks passed, seeming to blur into each other. Things got a bit better for Kakashi- he slowly focused on other things; his students, work, whatever else there was to get his mind off of the brunette who'd captured his heart... At least until Pain had attacked. Naturally, that threw everything off balance.

He'd had a gut instinct that told him where Iruka would be, and he'd gone there, completely ready to sacrifice his life- which he had. It had been an oddly peaceful time in what he assumed was purgatory with his father. For the first time in a long time, he'd gotten peace and quiet. He was already dead, so surely no one else would be depending on him to save them. 

But during that short time, in the back of his mind, he'd been distraught. Angry. Consumed by his regrets. He hadn't gotten the chance to tell Iruka that he loved him one last time and it hurt. He didn't want to die with them being on such bad terms. He didn't want to die with Iruka still angry at him.

Thankfully, he hadn't stayed dead for long. 

A couple of days had passed. Kakashi had spent most of the time recovering, and Iruka had spent most of the time helping with the reconstruction process, though poor Yamato was definitely handling most of the work.

They were sitting in the forest behind the hotel that a lot of them were staying at now, alone. It was too dark for any regular person to be out, but too early in the morning for the night owls, so it was just Kakashi and Iruka, sitting close enough for their thighs to touch on a log in front of a bonfire that the Jonin had started, making smores like they were kids again, an old blanket that the brunette had managed to save from the rubble draped over both of their shoulders. 

It was mostly silent, and they hadn't really talked yet, but Kakashi felt like they were about to. He'd woken up with a weird, gut instinct telling him to go to that forest, and when he had, he'd arrived to Iruka sitting there alone. The Chunin had wordlessly lifted the blanket for him, and he'd joined his ex-lover there. They'd been sitting in a tense silence since then. 

Kakashi was the first to break that silence. 

"I went to that street because I knew you'd be there somehow. It was that same street I ran into you on when you graduated from The Ninja Academy."

"The same corner we met on for our first date, too," Iruka offered a half-hearted smile, and for the first time in what felt like years, Kakashi looked at him- _really looked_ at him. His soft, brown eyes were tired, and Kakashi just wanted to pull him close and hold him until he fell asleep.

He didn't, though.

"I'm glad I found you, that I got to see you, even if we didn't really get to talk. I wasn't planning on dying, but it was a lot more peaceful when I did since I got to see your face beforehand. I still have my regrets, though."

"...I didn't die, but when he had me, I was scared I wouldn't get to see you again- scared I'd die alone. I don't hate the thought of dying alone," Iruka sighed as he roasted a marshmallow on a stick and put the glob of sugar with a square of chocolate between two graham crackers. It seemed weird to be enjoying sweet treats during such a serious conversation, but Kakashi knew that the younger man had the tendency to munch on whatever was around when he was stressed. "But I think the issue was more with the thought of dying without _you_. I always tried to avoid thinking about death before, but I didn't want to die without you there. I know that's weird, but I-"

"Me too," Kakashi allowed his eyes to fall shut. He was breathless. Iruka still wanted him there. Even if they'd broken up, they'd never quite fallen apart after all. 

_Empty streets now, where we used to love,  
_ _Our hearts out but now I'm dancin' all alone,  
_ _Scared to go out on my own,  
_ _This calmin' feeling faded into anxious breathin',  
_ _In the places we were happy once,  
_ _Stuck inside but never home,_

"I know it was to protect me, and to protect the kids and the others, too, but..." Tears welled up in Iruka's eyes. His voice cracked. Kakashi wondered if Iruka had always been this gorgeous, even under such terrible circumstances, or if the warm glow of the fire just brought out his best features. "This is selfish of me and I can't even believe I'm telling you this right now, but you just _aren't_ allowed to go and do that again, Kakashi."

"I know," The silver-haired man sighed and wrapped an arm around his ex-lover's shoulder, pulling him closer. The blanket slipped a bit. Neither of them moved to fix it. "But I can't control what happens. If something like this occurs again and I don't have any other choice, I might have to..."

"I can't lose you."

"Don't you remember what your last words were to me?" Kakashi knew. The last time they'd talked before the attack had been bad, and he knew that what Iruka had said to him had been his fault, but he couldn't help asking about it. He needed answers and comfort; to know that Iruka didn't really hate him after all. "Before the attack. When we broke up."  
 _  
_

_And if I lose it all, in the blink of an eye,_

_Like a fire burnin' out in the night,_

_And my hearts stops beatin',_

_But something's screamin',_

"I told you I hated you," Iruka laughed, tone weak and bitter as he rubbed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and pointer finger. "And I was lying. I don't hate you, and I don't think I ever will. I just hate that I love you so much because it always ends in me getting hurt and I'm _sick_ of getting hurt! But I keep coming back to you, and..."

"I won't hurt you again," Kakashi reached down and grabbed the brunette's hand, squeezing it as reassuringly as he could. As always, Iruka's skin felt so much warmer against his. "I promise."

"You always say that," Iruka argued, his expression bordering disgusted in a way that made Kakashi hate himself more than ever. "You _always_ say that! You've never been able to keep a promise, Kakashi... Even when you _do_ try."

_And I, wish we didn't say goodbye,  
_ _'Cause we're just standin' still,  
_ _And I don't really know, what tomorrow holds,  
_ _But I've, I've finally realized,  
_ _If this is our last goodbye until we're gone,  
_ _Who cares about the wrongs we caused ourselves,  
_ _'Cause I don't want to watch the world end with someone else,_

"I've made that promise and broke it a million times. I know, but that was before I died. Everything's different now. I _died_ , Iruka," Kakashi retracted his arm from around Iruka's shoulder so he could subtly wrap them around his own body, hugging to comfort himself. hTe brunette went back to eating smores. "I saw my dad. I saw and thought a lot of things, but you know who was on my mind the whole time?"

"Who?" Iruka asked, though Kakashi was sure that the brunette already knew what the answer was.

"You. I just kept thinking about how I wouldn't get to talk to you again and how distraught you'd be. A more humorous part of me was thinking about how you'd probably bring me back to life just to kill me again for sacrificing myself like that."

"I don't even know why I'm so mad about it," Iruka laughed again, a bit more light-hearted this time, and Kakashi let out a sigh of relief. "I would've done the same shit and thrown my life away if you hadn't shown up to save me like that. In hindsight, Naruto had it handled, but I wouldn't have been willing to take the risk of telling that guy where he was."

"I know. That's why I showed up in the first place," Kakashi mumbled, staring down into his lap. "With the rest of the Akatsuki and everything that's been going on, the world could always end for us at any moment now. There's probably going to be a war soon. And I think I realized something."

"What?"

"I think I'd be okay with the world ending," Kakashi looked up again, just to meet the younger man's eyes, charcoal burning into chocolate. He couldn't help but think about what they used to have, couldn't help but think about how he just wanted to pull Iruka close and kiss and hold him until they couldn't tell whose lips and breaths were whose. "But only if I can be by your side when it happens, 'cause I don't want to watch the world end with someone else."

  
_Fallin' deeper, deeper into hopeless thinkin',  
_ _Remember when you pulled me out,  
_ _Wishin' you would come around again,  
_ _When the room goes quiet,  
_ _I'm hit with regret like a riot,  
_ _Reminds what I really want,  
_ _But have I waited for too long,_

"Me too," Iruka grabbed his hand so they could intertwine their fingers again, using the back of his spare hand to wipe the tears that had fallen off of his face with a shaky smile. "If you would've stayed dead, I... Would've had so many regrets. You remember when we first met?"

"Yeah. You were training late at night and I was on patrol since I was in the Anbu and there were rogues in the area," Kakashi grinned under his mask at the memory. "You fell into the water again and I pulled you out, only for you to yell at me."

"Yeah... Things were so much simpler back then, weren't they?" Iruka questioned, resting his head on Kakashi's shoulder. The blanket fell off of them completely, landing on the grass behind the log. Again, neither of them moved to fix it, too focused on basking in each other's presence.

"They were. Part of me misses it, but we've both changed since then, and as many issues as we still have, maybe it's been for the better."

_'Cause if I lose it all, in the blink of an eye,  
_ _Like a fire burnin' out in the night,  
_ _And my hearts stops beatin',  
_ _But something's screamin',_

"The fire went out," Kakashi blanked, surprised when the flames suddenly died down, and then flickered out completely with a strong gust of wind. 

"It did. I'll restart it," As quietly and fastly as he could, Kakashi channeled a small amount of chakra into his hands and used it to make a small flame to relight the wood. Quickly, the fire started again, and Kakashi reached down into the bag with the marshmallows, chocolate, and crackers to make a smore, not even bothering with roasting the marshmallow this time. "Smore?"

"Sure," Iruka grinned and leaned forward, taking the sugary treat into his mouth, chewing and swallowing before pulling back. He wasn't tearing up anymore, which was good, and the mood seemed to have lightened up, but what was most noticeable to Kakashi was the little bit of chocolate that smeared across the brunette's lips around one of the corners. 

"Heh, I see you're still as cute as ever," Kakashi teased, reaching forward to take Iruka's face in his hands. The younger man pouted in response, sticking his bottom lip out a bit. "Let me get that for you."

The silver-haired man leaned forward and kissed his ex-lover, licking the chocolate off in the process and pulling back with a chuckle. As always, Iruka was easily flustered, and his face began to burn bright red as he stammered.

"T-Thanks."

Another gust of wind. The fire went out again. Kakashi didn't bother with it this time.

  
_And I, I wish we didn't say goodbye,  
_ _Cause we're just standin' still,  
_ _And I don't really know, what tomorrow holds,  
_ _But I've, I've finally realized,  
_ _If this is our last goodbye until we're gone,_  
_Who cares about the wrongs we caused ourselves,  
_ _'Cause I don't want to watch the world end with someone else,_

"Iruka... Let's get back together."

"Kakashi..." Iruka's tone was hesitant but warning. Kakashi understood why.

"I know," Kakashi reached forward, now taking both of Iruka's hands in his and squeezing them as reassuringly as he could. He knew that his presence was often cold and withdrawn, unsupportive and insensitive, callous and rude, but he didn't want to be that anymore. He wanted to be warm and adoring, supportive and compassionate, loving and kind. He wanted to be what Iruka needed, and maybe the attack was what made him realize exactly what that need was. "I'll be better for you. I promise."

"Calm down," The brunette hushed him, leaning forward and resting their foreheads together gently. Butterfly kisses and soft chuckles ensued. "I was about to say that I wouldn't want anything else. All I've ever wanted is to stay with you, it's just..."

"I know," The Jonin sighed, allowing his eyes to fall shut, lashes fluttering against his cheeks. "I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I can't have our last goodbye be like that again."

_Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh,_

_World end with someone else,_

_Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh,_

_World end with someone else,_

_Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh,_

_World end with someone else,_

_Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh,_

_World end with someone else,_

"Kakashi..." Iruka sighed as well and raised a hand to rest on Kakashi's face, a thumb soothingly running over one of his masked cheekbones. "You're the only person I'd want to watch the world end with. I want you by my side, too. Just stay with me."

"I always will."


End file.
